How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Did you hear about the little people starting a beer making operation?
It's a micro brewery.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
The perfect name for a sad and morose strawberry is a blueberry.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
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