What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
"You can't sip with us."
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
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