Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
I love you a tot!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What do you call royal pineapple? Your pine-ness.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
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