A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
When the giant cannibals started to soak me in vinegar, I'd had enough.
"Why don't you pickle someone your own size?" I shouted.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Have you seen that awesome video of a Koala drinking tea high up in the trees?
It’s super high Koala-tea
You don't know jack-o-lantern
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
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