Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
You’re wine in a million.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Q: What happened to the peach who went to meet the knife?
A: He came back in many peaches.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
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