What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
"You had me at merlot."
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Go to BabaMail
