Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
Did you hear? The pilgrims rode the May-Flour so that they could bake bread as they went to America. This is a cute option.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
"I make pour decisions."
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
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