A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What crime is an egg most afraid of?
Poaching.
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
"Adulting makes me wine."
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
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