A narwhal is just a tuna-corn.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
"Here for the right riesling."
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
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