What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
I like you a latke!
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
I love you from my head tomato
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
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