What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
My girlfriend said we aren't getting married until she has a pear shape
It's the reason we cantaloupe
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio. But that’s just me in a nutshell.
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
"You had me at merlot."
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
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