Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. A study says that chocolate may lower your chances of a stroke. That is, a swimming stroke, a golf stroke, a tennis stroke.
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added fruit and orange juice, and now she sangria than ever!
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
My wife asked me this morning "Do you want a bacon omelette?"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
"Sip happens."
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
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