Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Where do pepperonis go on vacation?
The Leaning Tower of Pizza.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
"You can't sip with us."
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
"Will you accept this rosé?"
The cold broth is known to have lived in Stock-holm.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
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