What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
"I mead more wine."
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup? Won Ton.
"It's wine o'clock."
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What do you call really scared pasta?
Chicken noodles.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
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