What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
"Time to wine down."
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
What happened when the beer got divorced?
It became bitter.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
What's green and swims in the sea?
Moby Pickle.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
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