What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
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