When you accidentally step on a cheerio, you become a cereal killer.
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What do pigs drive? Pigup trucks.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
How did the Iceland repel the bananas attack? By freezing them
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
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