What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Donut even think about taking another donut!
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
You’re wine in a million.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
Where did the garlic clove go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
"Sip happens."
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
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