What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Donut even think about taking another donut!
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
I'm going to start a hummus brand that comes in really difficult to open containers.
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder nut milk.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
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