It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
"Here for the right riesling."
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
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