When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Did you hear that the diet clinic was doing great business? They say that it’d really take your breadth away.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
"You're the wine that I want."
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
We’re a perfect mash.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
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