What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?
“You are all I avo wanted.”
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
My son's asked for a strange Christmas present this year. It's really cheap though so I don't mind.
I'm not sure why he wants an eggs box though.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? Because his friend said dinner is on me.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
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