In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
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