When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
I like you a latke!
‪My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
‪He says it’s his passion‬.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
What a spud muffin.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
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