What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
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