If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
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