My town always holds a contest to see which beer drinker's belly is biggest by seeing how far it goes past a line...
That's the paunch-line.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
My car smelled like bacon when I got home.
My porking brake was on.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
"On cloud wine."
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
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