What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
What do you drink with the Queen of England? Royal-Tea.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
One day, my stepfather ordered some fish tacos. I asked him what kind of fish goes in a fish taco.
He said, "Dead."
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
What do you call it when someone hits avocados repeatedly with a hammer?
Gu-whack-a-mole-e.
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
What do teachers drink at school? Facul-Tea.
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
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