Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
"Rosé all day."
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
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