My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Walnut.
Walnut who?
I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
We’re a perfect mash.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it round the garden.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What’s yellow and swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan.
Usain bolt must be a fruit
Have you seen that mango?
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
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