What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
What do horses like to put on their egg salad sandwiches?
MayoNAYS!
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
"Time to wine down."
"No wine left behind."
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
Cons-serve
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
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