What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque? A souped up car.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
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