What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
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We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
Did you hear the little loaves playing hide-and-seek earlier? They kept yelling, “Bready or not, here I come!”
Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend? Because his friend said dinner is on me.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
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