Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Who does the nectarine just do a hair transplant? Because it wants to become a peach.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
What happened to the men who lost their lettuce?
I don't know, but apparently they lost their heads.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
There are actually two types of apple: pine – apple and bad – apple.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
"I make pour decisions."
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
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