Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
I was souper excited to hear some soup puns for the comic chef - but his performance did not excite miso much.
What is a vampire who loves eating strawberry jam called? A jampire.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
I asked the Korean grocer for something to spice up my meals, but I think I got a raw dill.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
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