How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
If you are a fan of alphabet soup, then you might also know times new ramen.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
Go to BabaMail
