My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
What do you call one green onion that doesn't listen to anyone and is very naughty? It is called a rapscallion!
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
A cream-filled donut and an eclair decided to get a divorce.
It’s a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They’re in for a grueling custardy battle.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
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