I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Picking strawberries can be a very fruitful endeavor!
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
When I was learning how to cook soups, my mum asked me to follow my instinct. She asked me to go with the pho.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
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