Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
What do you call Chewbacca with chocolate stuck in its fur?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
You’re wine in a million.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
"Sip happens."
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
Go to BabaMail
