Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
An egg walks into a bar...
And makes a real mess.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
Me: I think I'll take a dip in the pool.
Lifeguard: What ya got there?
Me: Hummus.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
My wife came home angry from the gynecologist after he told her she had to stop using lemon douche
She's been such a sour puss about it.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
What do you call a musical lime?
John Lemon.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
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