Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
Why shouldn't you shop at the Banana Republic? Because the employees look like a bunch of dicks.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
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