Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Time to celery-brate.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
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