Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
I hope for world peas.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
You knead me in your loaf.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
Go to BabaMail
