What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
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