Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"I mead more wine."
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Why have less scato when you can have mo’ scato?
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
"You're the wine that I want."
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
"Adulting makes me wine."
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
"Back that glass up."
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
"You can't sip with us."
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
Through the grapevine.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Why does your grandma like wine so much?
Because at her age, she needs glasses!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
"Say you'll be wine."
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
"No wine left behind."
"Sip, sip hooray."
"You had me at merlot."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
"Partners in wine."
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
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