I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Good work, we’re raising your annual celery
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
This foundation is rock salad.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What do you call a vegetable planted at a whore house?
A brothel sprout.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
I love you from my head tomato
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
Go to BabaMail
