Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
I love you from my head tomato
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
I hope for world peas.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
I think therefore I yam.
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
I yam what I yam.
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
I'd tell you about a girl that eats nothing but vegetables,
but I'm sure you've herbivore.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
This foundation is rock salad.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
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