Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
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