When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
I love you a tot!
Potato puns are a-peeling.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
I like you a latke!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
Everything in this world is either a potato or not a potato
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
We’re a perfect mash.
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