John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
If you’re looking for potato puns, you can count on me to chip in.
“I can’t breathe” One potato said to the other. “What happened? ” The other said. The potato replied “I
feel I dropped my nose somewhere”
Happy Birthday to my best spud….get it? ? Spud…bud? ?
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
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