I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
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