Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
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