Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
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