My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
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