The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
Which language do oranges use to speak to each other? Mandarin.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What did the orange say when a knife pierced it’s peel? Flesh wound.
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
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