What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
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