My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
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