When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack‬
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Which is the fanciest onion? A cocktail onion.
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
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