I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Onions are great at being psychologists as they let people cry their hearts out in front of them.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
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